Don’t judge a book by its cover

This common English idiom even adults need to be reminded of. In my last post I received some Anonymous comments that suggested that my comments are marginalizing to adult adoptees , that my wants are above those of my children, that my adoption is second fiddle, etc. If you don’t know what I am referring to, you can read the comments that were left and the blog post of an adult adoptee that was left by Anonymous readers.
To start, your comments hold little merit if you cannot put your own name behind it. I feel if you are so inclined to leave a message on my blog, especially one that is controversial, sign your name and don’t hide behind ‘Anonymous.’

Don’t judge a book by its cover. The name on my blog, is Two Less, we hope there will be two less orphans in the world and in our arms. There are 55 million in the world. 55 MILLION. And that, unfortunately, is the reality. However, would I ever refer to my child as an orphan or make them think or feel that they are anything but our children because of their circumstance or where they came from? Absolutely not. If you have read my blog you would know that I refer to our children as ‘our children’ or ‘Jack and Hayley.’ They will be loved unconditionally and treated as nothing other than our children.

I agree that the children who come to our family should not and will not be expected to be anything other than who they are. But does that make it wrong for me to want a healthy child? That would be like a biological mom not wishing her child to be healthy. That is absurd. There are no guarantees in adoption and if my children are not healthy, they will still be loved the same. Please don’t assume or insinuate otherwise, because it is offensive.

If you knew me and my husband you would know our decision to adopt a child. And to insinuate that that adoption is second best or our second option, it is just not true. Adoption was our BEST and FIRST option. Maybe I had the option to have a biological child, but you quickly assumed that adoption is our second best choice. Don’t judge a book by its cover. Even if I didn’t have the option to have a biological child, is it fair for you to assume that children who are adopted because of infertility are second string to a biological child? It is not fair, not right and not true. Here is a mom’s story that proves my point.

People choose adoption for multiple reasons. This could be because they have all boys and want a girl, or they want a son, they have battled with infertility, they felt a calling from God, their mission it to help the orphan crisis, etc. Whatever path it is that leads a family to adopt, is their path, and should never be judged unless you have walked their path in their shoes. More time should be spent celebrating adoption and less time judging ones decisions to adopt or who they adopt.

On Tuesday before I went to work, I ran around the lake and I cried. I cried because someone whom I have never met was questioning my character and it downright just made me mad. Little did I know that this day would turn out to be one of the best of my life. There was nothing anyone could have said or done that would have changed that. Oh how quickly things can change.

To be continued…